de·ni·al 

an unconscious defense mechanism used to reduce anxiety by denying thoughts, feelings, or facts that are consciously intolerable

an assertion that something said, believed, alleged is false

abstinence; self-denial

i cant admitt it other wise they will make me eat

Posted by candice on September 5, 2008 9:48 am

it took for me actually to get sick to eat anything and to see my son getting sick to think that i wouldnt be around cause i really feel like im sying but i cant stop ...... when i eat i feel so guilty and am so scared to gain wait it hurts so bad ..... i will never look good enough or be skinny enough or atleast think that i am i have to be strong for my son he needs me right?...... i have to choose me or him i choose him but i can be strong enough to do this on my own i wont tell anyone cause if i do they will send me away..... i have been anorexic for 4 years ecept during pregnaucy .... in 6 months lost 110 pounds and that still isnt good enough ......

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So..I am still not Superwoman...

Posted by rkayla on February 6, 2008 9:33 pm

So here it is, two weeks after surgery, and the thought of going Spinning is beyond me.  You have to understand, that before the surgery, a week before, I went for my Spinning certifiacation...as a teacher...

Well it is a bit of a challange every day when I wake up, although I guess I am feeling better every day.  It's just NOT the speedy Gonzales recovery I thought it would be.  We have to remember that our bodies talk to us, and everything happens when we're ready.  When you push it, there  tends to be setbacks. One day you're up and the next you're down... Not a good thing.  I think patience is key, and remembering that everything comes due in the right time for YOU.  Now I just gotta be patient, and learn the life's lesson at hand.

OK..Tri season is just ahead....more later.

Tags: Patience,recovery,strength

 

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Not the superwoman I once was...

Posted by rkayla on January 29, 2008 6:41 pm

Having just had surgery, I expected I would bounce back in no time.  NOT the case.  I think sometimes we have to remember that surgery, both large and small, is still surgery, and one's body has been through a shock.  Just because we're "asleep" when it happens, doesn't negate the battering and bruising that occurs - and the bruising is indeed a reminder of what the body has just been through never mind the internal pain.

On the other hand, it is a reminder to quiet the mind and body, take the time to heal, and remember that YOU is the most important thing you've got.  Gotta take care of you...and healing, along with the aches and pains, are your body's way of telling you where you are in the process.  Got to LISTEN to those cues, instead of pushing the envelope, the go go go of everyday life needs to slow down a few notches.  The quieter one can become, the quicker one will heal.

Now I need a dose of my own medicine.

Tags: healing,surgery,mind & body

 

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